Happiness

I don't know if I'm dreaming or not, because to me this is something I never thought was real. Dozens of young and old women gathered here to be crowned for their great achievements, I look at my mother next to me, who's tears are light but heavy for what they carry, I hold my tears because I'm not used to crying in public, but they found their way in the depths of my empty soul.
I flash back to the endless hours I spent on the Internet, back then i didn't realize what I've been doing, wasting precious time on YouTube, Facebook and other websites. Back then I thought I was balancing my time, that I'm not one of them people who are addicted.. I was in denial.
Shame rose all over me when i was struck by the reality of myself, of whom I've become.
I realized I was the very meaning of stupid and pathetic, even though I've got a couple of As on my report cards, these girls here have dozens of As, yet they chose to spend few months of their lives on something that will change their future here and in the hereafter. They were the real meaning of smart and wise, and now they're here, standing there on that stage, faces glowing, like they're surrounded with a bubble of light, filled with peace. Their smiles are indescribable. Their bodies are here on the ground, but their soul is up there next to the angels.
They chose to memorize the Holy Quraan, the words of the Prophet Mohammed -peace be upon him-, plus knowledge & science, they have it all. They were happy, they felt the true meaning of happiness, they were blessed.
Happiness, I thought, is when you buy a new bag, a new tech or going out with your friends thinking this is the best day of your life.. I always had this feeling of something missing in the picture, now I know.
I realize that when you feel Allah is watching you from up there.. happy and proud of you, you're memorizing his words to you and doing what he says. This is the real permanent happiness. I pray that one day I'll be one of them, that I'll feel that kind of happiness and live it.